Page 209 of 865
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 1:06 am
by WhiteDragon
There's a bird in my ceiling and it's really pissing me off...
I live in the first floor of a two floor apartment building, and there's a ventilation shaft above my room with a birds nest in it. Durring the day the baby birds will oftentimes chirp like crazy, but at night they're asleep, and therefore quiet. However, it would seem that one of the birds has decided to not only crawl around in the ceiling above my room tonight, but it also keeps pecking at things, making nice little knocking noises. Occasionally it sounds like it pecks on something metal, probably either the ventilation shaft or some pipe. Either way, it's quite annoying.
Hmm... it seems to have just stopped... Hopefully the damn bird won't start up again.
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 1:13 am
by Potter
meet & skeet
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 5:20 am
by God Of Rock
I\'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN\'S WEARHOUSE. MY SECRETARY, FOLLOWING A BARBARIC BEAVER BEATING THAT SLOUGHED OFF HER UTERINE LINING MORE EFFECTIVELY THAN HER OWN MENSTRUAL CYCLE, INFORMED ME THAT MY TWO LEAST FAVORITE ARTISTS, 311 AND SCOTT STAPP, WERE RECENTLY INVOLVED IN A SCUFFLE. HISTORICALLY A MEDIATOR, I FLEW IN MY LEARJET TO MEET THE TWO BANDS. THE TWO GROUPS WERE WHINING LIKE ANNA NICOLE SMITH AFTER INHERITANCE MONEY UNTIL I PREPPED THE MEMBERS OF 311 FOR THE IMPENDING IMPALEMENT WITH A COMPREHENSIVE COATING OF NUT NECTAR, GLUING THEM TO THE GROUND. AFTER SUSTAINING A BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO THE HEAD FROM MY CROTCH CRUSHING CONCUSSION CANE, STAPP WAS TAKEN \'HIGHER\' THAN EVER BEFORE AS HE WAS BOUNCED LIKE A BABY UPON THE Z-MAN\'S TWO-TON TROUSER-SCHNAUZER, WHILE THE 311 MEMBERS WERE HELD CAPTIVE BY THEIR OWN ASSHOLES LIKE BOWLING BALLS. THE FORCE FROM MY CULVERT-SIZED COCK SPLITTING STAPP APART WAS ENOUGH TO CAUSE HIM TO DEVELOP DUAL PERSONALITY DISORDER. AS STAPP PROCEEDED TO BLEED TO DEATH, MY STEADFAST SLUT-SPEARING SON-SIRING SKINFLUTE BURST THROUGH THE LEAD SINGER\'S BVD\'S, CAUSING HIM TO BREAK OUT INTO A RAPE-INSPIRED RENDITION OF \'COME ORIGINAL\'. I COULD ONLY INTERPRET HIS SINGING TO INDICATE IT WAS TIME TO FINISH UP, SO I BURIED THE ALT-ROCK GREAT IN A GOOEY GRAVE OF GONAD GOULASH. MY GROIN YETI IS NOW THE SIXTH MEMBER OF 311, I GUARANTEE IT.
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 10:50 am
by danc1005
Meh, last one was way better.
-Dan
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 2:50 pm
by hascoolnickname
next time you see potter beat him up for me
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 5:24 pm
by Potter
your fault idiot. how dare you use ps2 devices when i thought you wouldent and not know how to set audio options
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 7:37 pm
by Original Sin
lawlz groin yeti.
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 8:07 pm
by mexican ninja
Tiny text is for assholes
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 8:30 pm
by Potter
i agree with the mehicano
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 8:37 pm
by Green Tea
never agree with mexicans, it's bad for your health
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 8:40 pm
by Potter
furshizzle
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 9:13 pm
by hascoolnickname
teehee sorry luvr I dont have money to buy said usb devices, and the onboard was tricksey.
Next time you see potter give him a big hug for me, cuz I don't swing that way.
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 9:29 pm
by Potter
rofllmaonade
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 9:41 pm
by Yume_Taira
I think I have my first toothache... T_T
Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 11:58 am
by sam
wanna know what happened to the orly owl?
http://fapomatic.com/show.php?loc=19&f=cry3ly1.jpg
note: not work safe...ever.
