Totally weird request for a paper I'm writing

[Riot]

Alright so I'm writing a report on a novel called House of Leaves (amazing book by the way), and I'm writing about the theme of the labyrinth in it. The structure of this book is really crazy, with words being written on the page in crazy ways (upside down, diagonally, etc.), and our professor says she will welcome attempts to write our essays in a crazy structure as well. So I'm writing about the labyrinth, right... I kind of want to write my essay in a winding format, like the essay will wind in on itself and keep winding down to the center of the paper as the last word. Kind of like this:

start >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>V
^>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>VV
^^>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>end VV
^^<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<V
^<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<V

(Supposed to represent directional arrows)

Okay well that diagram doesn't make any sense. But I want to constantly get smaller as it gets towards the center of the page, and you read along the outside and continually follow the sentences around the outside frame of the page. Kind of like a nautilus shell, winding smaller and smaller.

Now, the hard part is.... HOW do I accomplish this? I am going to have to tilt the sentences along the side of the page going down on their side so technically my professor will have to continually rotate my paper around to read it. I guess the ideal thing would be to have some way to do this in Microsoft Word.... but the only way I can think about doing it is in Paint or something. Even still though, if I type something in paint how would I rotate that sentence on it's side? Anyways, I know this is weird, but do any of you guys have any suggestions or ideas, or even programs that let you manipulate words easily?

I've heard there are programs out there that can manipulate sentences into shapes (like making a circle out of your sentence or something). Anybody know of anything?

[BigBadOrc]

http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=69648

[Riot]

I also figured out about Adobe Illustrator to do it. Apparently I can draw lines and correspond the text to whatever lines I draw. Man my teacher is going to HATE me I can't wait rofl.

[BigBadOrc]

lol you should post it when you're done :O

[Fluffyumpkins]

http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/word/ ... 21033.aspx

Won't do exactly what you want.

[Riot]

The hardest part that I have to figure out is that the essay has to be 5-6 pages. I have no idea how I'm going to format this on the pages... what's going to have to happen is she's going to have to spread 5-6 pages out on the floor, and constantly rotate around the pages to read it as it winds around. ROFL just thinking about it makes me laugh so hard. Oh man this is gonna be awesome.

[letshavetea]

you're strange...

Just... don't print on the backside of pages... that'd be mean....

[chocobojoe]

technically a labyrinth doesn't wind like a nautilus shell, it starts starts near the "middle", winds out to the edge, winds back toward the center (end), back out toward the middle, and then into the center (end)

[Riot]

Well it has to be SOMEWHAT readable, only reason I'm winding inwards. Especially because I'm going to end with just a single word at the center, the "minotaur" if you will, although it's really repressed guilt at the center of the labyrinth. It's gonna be cool.

[Potter]

good book

[BigBadOrc]

Rofl. I was the AI for a class where the professor gave homework assignments consisting of a multiple choice section, a fill in the blank section, and a short answer section. He uploaded the homework form to the internetz, but he still asked students to write it out on a different form. One kid, in protest, wrote the homework assignment out in handwriting exactly as Riot is suggesting doing in word or adobe illustrator. ( One page of square shaped text wrapping around until it reached the center.)

Unfortunately.. I was the grader... and the professor told me to grade it anyway..

I should have just written his grade back in a circle of F's

Obviously it's different for you Riot since your professor asked for it

[Fluffyumpkins]

I enjoy how books that tend to achieve mass popularity, such as this one, are often burned at the stakes by self-proclaimed intellectuals. One particular literati summed the book as, "Incredibly Dull Pseudointellectual Gimmickery." I'm not saying he's right, but my guess is he isn't entirely wrong.

Short of it is that I don't much care for 'postmodernism' and will probably just stick to Pokemon fan-fic.

As a young boy behind a large barakadeof sand bags in front of the rocket base on Janui Island the third of theseafoam islands grabs out a small blue book from his torn taraway pantsand begain to write
March 1812:30pm: Dear journal this war is going on and on, when will it end?? Myfather says the rockets can't hold out any longer I follow what he saysthough I still think they have something still up there sleve .
"Clifford!" Yelled a figuire inabout 10 feet away from the boy. "Yeah?" He replied back to the figuire.Come here! The figure yelled back. Coming John as the boy known as Cliffordpicked up his bag containing a small amount of ammo for a small hand gunCliff carried, a pack of signal flares, his journal which was given tohim by his mother who was now dead
a small medic kit containg someband-aids water, cut spray, some allow leaves and an a small guide in treatingto they injuered, also a large pack of gum a a King Sized mars bar(wheredo you get your energy from??from the commercial)and a couple cherry bombs. He He. "Whaz up John." "Cliff your father'sspy's just returned and the Rockets have a big finalle planed for us thespys said at eight o'clock." Said John. "Eight aye." Mumbled Cliff to himself.Then he ran of to find his father who turned up to brewing a plan withhis troop comando's. O.K. men, I want all the artilliary in the rear behind the men. I want you Gordon to take your men and split them in twoone group on the left one on the right infront of the artillariy with theremissile launchers. Yes Sir. As the man ran of too gather his troops. Janustake the grendiers to the center front. Yes Sir. As he also ran off, togather his troops toghether for the upcoming fight. Shelia take your troopsto center rear. Yes Sir! As she also ran off. Kerri take the remaing troopsto behind the hill side. Yes. Also must time . As his father looked upto the sunset. Dad. Yeah Cliff. What's this big "finally". A pokémonthat has been mixed with many other spieces to make the utilmite fightingmachine to wipe us out. Whoa. Cliff said. It's almost time I must takemy post. Go I've asked John to watch you. Go now. Cliff walked off to goto John cousin off Bill. Hey John. Oh hi. Cliff before we begin this warhere's alittle some thing my relative Bill made for me. John but his handin his bag and pulled out a leather book and said, "Here you can have thisCliff p it was in a small waterproof case so he slipped the case and openedthe leather book inside was a diagrams types info on all the known pokémon. Thanks John as Cliff flipped to the back there was curesfor sicknesses how to make the pokémon food for each pokémonand at the very back was a dairy who bill came across all the pokémon.Cliff decided to slip his own dairy in there too. "Beep Beep Beep."As bills watch went off. It's time as Cliff slipped the gift into his bag.Then all of a sudden a large door opened and a creature about the sizeof a human came out in sleek armour. Then it flew up in the air. Then therockets leader came out on a balcony, "Hello rebels welcome to my nightmare""I have created what I call a mewtwo." "Now since I'm genrouis you mayfire first." All Men, my dad said, FIRE!!!! All the men startedfiring rounds and rounds of bullets, rockets and gernaides. But to themens shoock. The creature just made a barrier absorbing all the weopens.Then the creature started to glow. Then a blue energy started to collectin it's hand and made a gaint energy ball and whiped it at the army. Whatthe----- as many men were caught in an explosin. Then to the remainingmen were horror struck as the creature raised it's head laughed a sinisterlaugh that made the mens blood run cold. Then the creature started firingseveral small balls of energy at the men some howlled in pain as thierbodys were burnt at melted. John watch out I yelled as ball came towardsus and smashed into the ground in front of us causing us to fly back. Johnyou alright as I looked down but John wasen't there he was nowere. As Clifflooked up no troops were left the he looked up to see what made hisheart stop the creature had his father by the hand dangling him above anddropped him Cliff yelled NOO!!! As he grabed out his hand gun and fireda shot which the creature just caught in it hand and flung back at him.Auh. As the bullet hit him in the arm he limbed over in pain. Then thecreature made a ball which he threw at Cliff it hit him and threw him wayout into the ocean. Then it blew up. Causing an explosin in the sky thecreature laughed horibly. The flew up in the air and started to collectenergy in his palms and made to very large energy bombs and therew themat they island causing it to exploded in red hot flames. Then the creaturelaughed and flew off into. The sky.
Is this they end of Cliff? Who will stop the creature find out in
part two of Poké

[Riot]

I wouldn't say this book is mass popular if that's what you're insinuating, and it's unfair to say any book with a little thought behind it is automatically "pseudointellectual." The "gimmicks" aren't used to be gimmicky and they actually serve a point in allusions and mythology behind the book if you read into it a bit. It's really cool.

The pokemon fanfic is pretty good though!

[Fluffyumpkins]

I wouldn't say this book is mass popular if that's what you're insinuating, and it's unfair to say any book with a little thought behind it is automatically "pseudointellectual." The "gimmicks" aren't used to be gimmicky and they actually serve a point in allusions and mythology behind the book if you read into it a bit. It's really cool.

The novel quickly became a bestseller following its March 7, 2000 release, having already developed a cult following through gradual release over the Internet.

Most of the books criticism tends to come from readers who have their heads up Thomas Pynchon's ass.

Personally I've never been one to hate on gimmicks too much. I'm a Zelda fan after all. How about you let me borrow it sometime and we can talk about it over dinner on your dime?

[chocobojoe]

lol intellectuals

I like books with swords and sorcery
dungeons and dragons
good and evil
epicness abound
some fantasy authors a highly intelligent and imaginative. It takes a lot of planning to create an entire world with a convincing cast of characters

oh and I like computer programming text books, they're very logical