Just thought this was funny...
The computer that the kids use just died, so I did a clean XP install, only to discover missing dirvers that I couldn't easily find on the HP website. So I went to HP's support site to chat with a 'qualified service professional'. Here is the 'conversation' in its entirety. I'm pretty sure most of this conversation was with a bot, not a real human. Do you agree? I guess I'm not complaining, since it was completely free and it did solve my question (sorta), but I just thought it was funny...
Ailina R: Welcome to HP Total Care for Desktop PCs. My name is Ailina R. How may I assist you today?
James Halliday: I need some help with reinstalling drivers on my computer after doing a clean XP install...
James Halliday: I'm missing drivers for the ethernet controller and the PCI ports
Ailina R: James, I understand that you have changed the operating system and would like to install the original drivers ,correct?
James Halliday: Yes, I got the drivers I could from the HP website but three devices are still not recognized...
James Halliday: Ethernet controller, PCI Device, and PCI Simple Communications Controller are still showing as unavailable in Device Manager
Ailina R: Okay James, please do not worry.
Ailina R: I will try my level best to find the drivers for you.
Ailina R: I would like to share some information with you.
Ailina R: I am sorry to inform you that we are not supposed to support the computers that do not have the original operating system that was shipped with it. The retail version of the Operating System might not be compatible with the computer since, the computer works fine with the original operating system that was installed as it is tested on it. However, let me see how I can help you with this.
Ailina R: Please confirm the model number of the PC.
James Halliday: Pavlion s7310n
Ailina R: Thank you for the information.
Ailina R: Please provide me 5 minutes while I check the system specification.
Ailina R: James, thank you for staying online.
Ailina R: PCI Device is showing unavailable as the modem drivers are missing.
Ailina R: I will provide you the web link that would help you in downloading the modem driver for your PC.
James Halliday: Ah, thank you
Ailina R: You are most welcome.
Ailina R: Please visit the web link below for downloading the modem driver.
Ailina R: The web link is:
Ailina R: http://h10025.www1.hp.com/ewfrf/wc/gene ... R1002_USEN
Ailina R: Please copy and paste the web link to the address bar of a new Internet explorer web link and hit enter.
James Halliday: Got it. Thank you...
Ailina R: You are welcome.
Bot or not?
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Fluffyumpkins
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If you had that conversation after 9:00pm then it probably was someone very foreign with a little cue sheet on how to speak english... that or they used babelfish.malictus wrote:That's possible. They may have some pre-made phrases that they can cut and paste to use over and over again as well, because some of the longer stuff definitely came back quicker than someone might be able to type...
My favorite line is: "Ailina R: I will try my level best to find the drivers for you. "
dance1005 wrote:Fucking retarded bots, bumping threads with dildos.
I've had some weird experience with HP's online customer support myself. Check this business out:
Samson: Hello! Kyler
Samson: Welcome to HP Total Care for Pavilion Notebooks. My name is Samson. How may I assist you today?
Kyler: Hello. My HP Pavilion laptop is having some hardware issues (worn-down DVD drive and corrupted hard drive) and I was wondering how I could go about getting these parts fixed or replaced?
Kyler: The product is still in its one-year Limited Warranty period.Samson: I will surely assist you in this regard.
Samson: Could you please elaborate the issues, so that I can understand what are the exact problems?
Kyler: Well, the laptop no longer boots correctly. It cannot find the
operating system, and the hard drive has many bad sectors which prevent reinstallation or repair via a Windows XP disc.
Samson: May I know what troubleshooting steps have you performed to troubleshoot this issue so that I will repeat them again.
Kyler: I started the computer. It said 'No operating system found' after the BIOS screen. At this point, I went to my university's technical support
center to have them look at it. They ran a couple tests and noticed that the hard drive was going bad and that the DVD drive had been worn out significantly, as the laptop could barely read any discs.
Samson: Oh, I am sorry to hear that.
Samson: I want you to perform a diagnostic test to isolate the issue with hard drive.
Kyler: Okay.
Samson: I suggest you to perform Hard drive self test. I will provide the steps now.
Samson: As these steps require restarting your Notebook, I suggest you to perform these steps offline and comeback to us with the results if the issue persists. We will be glad to assist you further
Samson: Is this okay with you?
Kyler: Well, yes. But I don't think this is going to take very long at all.
Samson: This will take some time as you have to restart the Notebook and perform it upon restart. Here are the steps to perform the test:
(steps)
Samson: The session ID of this chat is '#######', In the case this problem persists please use this session ID as reference, when you login
again to the "HP Total Chat Support", so that you need not to explain
the issue again and this will help us to serve you faster and better.
Samson: Am I clear, Kyler?
Kyler: Yes.
Samson: If the result of the test is FAIL, then please come back and we will ship you a new hard drive.
Kyler: But it's already done.
Kyler: It failed.
Samson: Is the hard drive self test (Long version) failed?
Kyler: #1 - 07 Fail
Kyler: I didn't have the option for a long test.
Kyler: It says it should take 112 minutes, but that took less than one.
Samson: Oh, I see.
Samson: I will ship you a new hard drive.
That goes on for another 20 minutes or so trying to get through the DVD drive's problems and getting my shipping address for the new hard drive. A very odd conversation with good ol' Samson at HP Customer Care... and as a sidenote, this was about two weeks ago. I was supposed to get the new hard drive in like, 2-5 days. Still haven't seen it. =/
Samson: Hello! Kyler
Samson: Welcome to HP Total Care for Pavilion Notebooks. My name is Samson. How may I assist you today?
Kyler: Hello. My HP Pavilion laptop is having some hardware issues (worn-down DVD drive and corrupted hard drive) and I was wondering how I could go about getting these parts fixed or replaced?
Kyler: The product is still in its one-year Limited Warranty period.Samson: I will surely assist you in this regard.
Samson: Could you please elaborate the issues, so that I can understand what are the exact problems?
Kyler: Well, the laptop no longer boots correctly. It cannot find the
operating system, and the hard drive has many bad sectors which prevent reinstallation or repair via a Windows XP disc.
Samson: May I know what troubleshooting steps have you performed to troubleshoot this issue so that I will repeat them again.
Kyler: I started the computer. It said 'No operating system found' after the BIOS screen. At this point, I went to my university's technical support
center to have them look at it. They ran a couple tests and noticed that the hard drive was going bad and that the DVD drive had been worn out significantly, as the laptop could barely read any discs.
Samson: Oh, I am sorry to hear that.
Samson: I want you to perform a diagnostic test to isolate the issue with hard drive.
Kyler: Okay.
Samson: I suggest you to perform Hard drive self test. I will provide the steps now.
Samson: As these steps require restarting your Notebook, I suggest you to perform these steps offline and comeback to us with the results if the issue persists. We will be glad to assist you further
Samson: Is this okay with you?
Kyler: Well, yes. But I don't think this is going to take very long at all.
Samson: This will take some time as you have to restart the Notebook and perform it upon restart. Here are the steps to perform the test:
(steps)
Samson: The session ID of this chat is '#######', In the case this problem persists please use this session ID as reference, when you login
again to the "HP Total Chat Support", so that you need not to explain
the issue again and this will help us to serve you faster and better.
Samson: Am I clear, Kyler?
Kyler: Yes.
Samson: If the result of the test is FAIL, then please come back and we will ship you a new hard drive.
Kyler: But it's already done.
Kyler: It failed.
Samson: Is the hard drive self test (Long version) failed?
Kyler: #1 - 07 Fail
Kyler: I didn't have the option for a long test.
Kyler: It says it should take 112 minutes, but that took less than one.
Samson: Oh, I see.
Samson: I will ship you a new hard drive.
That goes on for another 20 minutes or so trying to get through the DVD drive's problems and getting my shipping address for the new hard drive. A very odd conversation with good ol' Samson at HP Customer Care... and as a sidenote, this was about two weeks ago. I was supposed to get the new hard drive in like, 2-5 days. Still haven't seen it. =/
Hm weird, I've also had pretty weird experiences with this stuff, only mine was with the folks at Gateway.
Rob L: Good evening Scott, welcome to Gateway Online Tech Support. My name is Rob, how may I assist you?
Scott: Hi Rob, I was having trouble with my video card in my laptop. It's been acting up lately when I try to play the game Battlefield 2. Usually it works fine, but lately it's been loading and then crashing to desktop shortly after with no error message.
Rob L: I see, Scott. Have you tried lowering the graphical settings in-game?
Scott: Yes, but it still crashes.
Rob L: Have you reinstalled the game?
Scott: Yes, still does not work correctly.
Rob L: Have you ever experienced technical problems like these in any other games or software applications?
Scott: It's just Battlefield 2, most of my other games are older and don't require that much graphical power so they run fine. But BF2 has run in the past I'm just not sure why it's acting up lately. I was curious to if I could send it in because I'm still under my 3-year warranty and myabe get it replaced or fixed.
Rob L: Have you ever been with a man?
Scott: ... What?
Rob L: Have you ever tampered with the video drivers?
Scott: Umm, no. Did you just ask me-
Rob L: Have you ever constructed a butter sculpture of yourself and slept with it so it melted all over you and your pet cats?
Scott: Uh.
Rob L: I don't think Gateway can help you Scott, only me. You'll have to come meet me, and I can fix it. I can fix it all.
Scott: I don't think so, I think I'll be leaving now.
Rob L: The baby goat is still loose, perfect for a newcomer like yourself.
Scott: Okay, bye.
Rob L: The way to salvation is through Jesus's vagina. Good night, Scott.
Weird, huh? Probably a bot.
Rob L: Good evening Scott, welcome to Gateway Online Tech Support. My name is Rob, how may I assist you?
Scott: Hi Rob, I was having trouble with my video card in my laptop. It's been acting up lately when I try to play the game Battlefield 2. Usually it works fine, but lately it's been loading and then crashing to desktop shortly after with no error message.
Rob L: I see, Scott. Have you tried lowering the graphical settings in-game?
Scott: Yes, but it still crashes.
Rob L: Have you reinstalled the game?
Scott: Yes, still does not work correctly.
Rob L: Have you ever experienced technical problems like these in any other games or software applications?
Scott: It's just Battlefield 2, most of my other games are older and don't require that much graphical power so they run fine. But BF2 has run in the past I'm just not sure why it's acting up lately. I was curious to if I could send it in because I'm still under my 3-year warranty and myabe get it replaced or fixed.
Rob L: Have you ever been with a man?
Scott: ... What?
Rob L: Have you ever tampered with the video drivers?
Scott: Umm, no. Did you just ask me-
Rob L: Have you ever constructed a butter sculpture of yourself and slept with it so it melted all over you and your pet cats?
Scott: Uh.
Rob L: I don't think Gateway can help you Scott, only me. You'll have to come meet me, and I can fix it. I can fix it all.
Scott: I don't think so, I think I'll be leaving now.
Rob L: The baby goat is still loose, perfect for a newcomer like yourself.
Scott: Okay, bye.
Rob L: The way to salvation is through Jesus's vagina. Good night, Scott.
Weird, huh? Probably a bot.
Maybe I'm understanding this wrong, but that was the funniest thing I've ever heard support people say.Secef wrote: Samson: May I know what troubleshooting steps have you performed to troubleshoot this issue so that I will repeat them again.
Oh and not meaning to beat around the shrub, James, I am of the belief that you have been talking to an bot.
