Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

IndyDDR's online socialization center: general topics not related to specific coverage areas

Moderator: Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
Merk
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Posts: 8274
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 9:33 am
Location: Bloomington / Ft. Wayne
Contact:

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Merk » Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:31 pm

Image
Image

User avatar
Fluffyumpkins
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 6592
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:53 pm

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Fluffyumpkins » Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:41 pm

When I think of respecting women, Hugh Hefner always jumps right to mind.

User avatar
Ho
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 5645
Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2004 10:26 am
Location: The Ho-House

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Ho » Thu Dec 22, 2011 5:13 pm

He probably has a lot of respect for them...he's built an entire empire (and fortune) on them.
Image

User avatar
Fluffyumpkins
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 6592
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:53 pm

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Fluffyumpkins » Thu Dec 22, 2011 5:29 pm

Ho wrote:He probably has a lot of respect for them...he's built an entire empire (and fortune) on them.
He respects women in the same way a plantation owner respected his slaves. Like them, Hugh gets away with what the law allows. Call me an old fuddy-duddy, but I don't believe giving a woman fake boobs, making her fuck a cucumber, and photographing it so other dudes can jerk off = respect.

Blah, blah, blah it's their choice blah, blah, making lots of money. They're still being exploited.

Edit: I guess what I'm saying is Hugh's comment about a "little respect going a long way" makes him sound like he has championed the womens' movement. It's just business.

User avatar
Ho
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 5645
Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2004 10:26 am
Location: The Ho-House

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Ho » Thu Dec 22, 2011 5:52 pm

My statement should have read this way:
Ho wrote:He probably has a lot of "respect" for them...he's built an entire empire (and fortune) on them.
Although your description sounds more like Hustler than Playboy, and I think I would have a harder time coming up with something nice to say about Larry Flynt.
Image

User avatar
Fluffyumpkins
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 6592
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:53 pm

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Fluffyumpkins » Thu Dec 22, 2011 5:58 pm

Ho wrote:Although your description sounds more like Hustler than Playboy....
Bleh. So much for my Playgirl audition tape :[

User avatar
BigBadOrc
Standard
Standard
Posts: 588
Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2006 8:53 pm
Location: Indy
Contact:

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by BigBadOrc » Mon Dec 26, 2011 12:04 am

Fluffyumpkins wrote: Like them, Hugh gets away with what the law allows... They're still being exploited.
So they're part of the 99% then? Hm.. so if you were a girl would you rather work in a dead-end minimum wage job or work in porn? Cuz if it were me I wouldn't even hesitate. Bring on the cucumbers, bitch! No fake tits though. Holy shit France just had a big scandal about using non-medical grade silicone. That shit's fucked up.
groovestats
<3 blackcat

User avatar
Merk
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Posts: 8274
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 9:33 am
Location: Bloomington / Ft. Wayne
Contact:

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Merk » Mon Dec 26, 2011 12:15 am

Mike's posts are always a poor reflection of his face-to-face personality and mannerisms. That makes me chuckle.

We're all being exploited which is sort of the backbone of capitalism (obv) and that's okay! I'm much too scared to take on the risks of exploiting people and I'll take the easy route of making a fat rich old white guy more money if it means I can have a humble living that includes a white picket fence, Jesus, a loyal dog, football, two sons, a submissive waifu, and a DrumMania cabinet.
Image

User avatar
Merk
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Posts: 8274
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 9:33 am
Location: Bloomington / Ft. Wayne
Contact:

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Merk » Thu Feb 09, 2012 4:29 am

^^^ You ever re-read posts that you made months ago and go, "Man, that was pretty brilliant!"

Image
Image

belindashort
Light
Light
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 3:16 am

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by belindashort » Mon Feb 20, 2012 5:05 am

I'll copypasta my blogpost about this:

"Shitty dating/site 101"

Most people do this thing. Its not a secret, and this isn't some sort of revelation, but what people do, they cripple any chances they have at a real honest relationship with anyone, whether its on a 'dating' site, here, or even in the real world.

You join a dating site, or you just start chatting someone up:

Facade time. Put on your best face. Tell people a few 'bad' things about yourself but don't make it seem too bad, like a job interview manipulation. Turn some of the worst things about yourself into something 'cute'.

"Yeah, my last boyfriend left me screaming and running, but that was just because he wasn't ~~~adventurous~~~ enough! I'm too much woman for him to handle I guess" (In reality, he left running and screaming because he was sick of your bullshit drama and watching you cry over a bowl of cereal every morning just wasn't his type of adventure).

You write a bunch of things about yourself that you want other people to see. If they have 'test' you answer the test the way that you want another person to think that you answered it, as opposed to being truthful, whether with yourself or the test, even if the test explicitly states not to. You aren't REALLY out to find a soul mate, you just want to seem like the least creepy girl or guy on the site or in the club. (Obligatory repeat of 'in the club' dances)

You find someone you have something mildly in common with. You start pretending to be interested in things you give no shits about. You start to google these things so that you can feign interest in these hobbies or interests to make yourself seem to have a higher stock, or you talk about things you know a few things about as if you taught them in college.

"Oh yeah, I used to do that all the time, just don't let the jelly get away from you, you never know what sort of spores you might release into the troposphere!' smug

What you don't do - Tell them anything meaningful, whatsoever. That probably won't come until you both decide to meet up for the third or fourth time and get trashed, and start to actually talk, but by then, your bullshit facade has eaten its way past someone's trust zone. (This of course goes both ways).

You tell yourself you really like the person, and vice versa. You end up in the throes of NRE. Again, even less of a chance now that you will build ANYTHING even remotely substantial, but its fun right? I don't see anyone getting hurt, I really LIKE this person!

Now you're dating, maybe you've even had monkey sex a few times, but you still don't know each other. You both have your secrets, and now you are at the point that you will fight to keep them. You begin planning the future, and even planning how you will hide these things that you have managed to thus far keep hidden.

What if she finds out about the sodomized my little pony sculpture I have hidden in storage? What if he wants to meet my family and realizes that I was fabricated entirely out of self-replicating silicate nanites, but I just want to be human?

Its too late. Any semblance of a real relationship is shattered, because at some point, you have to rewind to get to the truth. You will never be able to have a meaningful relationship with this person, no matter how much you care for them because you won't be able to be honest with them. You'll be starting over the moment you start being truly honest.

Obviously I know everyone does not do this, but a lot of people think that they do not do this, and it is practically their M.O.

To put something personal on this:

I don't have a lot of close friends. If I have someone really close to me, it means that I let them in, and they didn't fuck with my trust. The other reason I don't have many friends is because when I meet people, they get a very intense version of me that I don't have any way to filter. Its not necessarily dramatic, but it is me, down to my worst habits if that comes up.

The reason I do this is because of the above. I don't want fake friendships, or fake relationships, and I don't want anyone to end up not being my friend because they just 'found out' that I suck my thumb, or that my family is crazy, or that I am poly, or that I don't want kids. These things are bound to come up in our FIRST conversation. Yes, my hobbies and interests will come up too, but I won't be wearing them like a badge that says 'you know you want me lolz'

I want real relationships, friendships, lovers. I have a deep intimate connection to people I am close to, and I keep people close to me that I care about. And I want them to have that from me.

I know my rant seems silly, maybe even misplaced or some regurgitation of things that people already know but don't care about. I want everyone to have real, intimate, trusting relationships. I want people to KNOW each other, inside and out. Stop hiding, who you are is probably better anyway, and you'll never know if you don't give someone else a chance to actually know you anyway.

User avatar
Merk
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Posts: 8274
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 9:33 am
Location: Bloomington / Ft. Wayne
Contact:

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Merk » Mon Feb 20, 2012 5:50 am

Dating sites, clubs, and dating in general are all pretty much about just banging IMO. I know that sounds completely like something a Reddit neckbeard would say but at my age, I'm more or less cat-calling the ladyfolk because they're cute and my monkey brain wants to have me get my penis touched. I know that when I get older and when my libido drops that I'll value intimacy over ripping them guts up and when I go looking for that kind of relationship I know I'm not going to find it on the internet or at a bar.

But really, I look at all my relationships in my life I don't think any of them are really "soul mate" material or whatever and that includes friendships. The idea of a soul mate to me seems a bit Hollywood, if you get my drift. I don't know if it's even possible to be in a position where you're not keeping somebody away at a comfortable distance. Take Chad and I for example -- I like to think that we are at a point where it's going to take one of us doing something absolutely heinous before we call our friendship over but at the same time I know that he oftentimes tells me what I want to hear because it's easy and won't cause conflict. We both set a comfortable distance for each other and we're both happy about it even if it is a facade. I don't think that illegitimizes our relationship or anything. There is no one out there in the world who is going to be perfect and stay perfect for as long as you live.

That's life, that's growing up, that's the nature of human relationships, that's the enthusiasm we all had as children about how awesome love is turning into cynnicism. I've sort of accepted it but I can see that facet of life really pissing someone off if their life's aspiration is to be in a perfect requited relationship.

I'm sure you knew all that though but hey I'm just glad I get to engage in a conversation on here while working the night shift!
Image

User avatar
SoDeepPolaris
Heavy
Heavy
Posts: 2930
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 5:55 pm
Location: dónde
Contact:

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by SoDeepPolaris » Mon Feb 20, 2012 2:28 pm

belindashort wrote:I'll copypasta my blogpost about this:

"Shitty dating/site 101"

Most people do this thing. Its not a secret, and this isn't some sort of revelation, but what people do, they cripple any chances they have at a real honest relationship with anyone, whether its on a 'dating' site, here, or even in the real world.

You join a dating site, or you just start chatting someone up:

Facade time. Put on your best face. Tell people a few 'bad' things about yourself but don't make it seem too bad, like a job interview manipulation. Turn some of the worst things about yourself into something 'cute'.

"Yeah, my last boyfriend left me screaming and running, but that was just because he wasn't ~~~adventurous~~~ enough! I'm too much woman for him to handle I guess" (In reality, he left running and screaming because he was sick of your bullshit drama and watching you cry over a bowl of cereal every morning just wasn't his type of adventure).

You write a bunch of things about yourself that you want other people to see. If they have 'test' you answer the test the way that you want another person to think that you answered it, as opposed to being truthful, whether with yourself or the test, even if the test explicitly states not to. You aren't REALLY out to find a soul mate, you just want to seem like the least creepy girl or guy on the site or in the club. (Obligatory repeat of 'in the club' dances)

You find someone you have something mildly in common with. You start pretending to be interested in things you give no shits about. You start to google these things so that you can feign interest in these hobbies or interests to make yourself seem to have a higher stock, or you talk about things you know a few things about as if you taught them in college.

"Oh yeah, I used to do that all the time, just don't let the jelly get away from you, you never know what sort of spores you might release into the troposphere!' smug

What you don't do - Tell them anything meaningful, whatsoever. That probably won't come until you both decide to meet up for the third or fourth time and get trashed, and start to actually talk, but by then, your bullshit facade has eaten its way past someone's trust zone. (This of course goes both ways).

You tell yourself you really like the person, and vice versa. You end up in the throes of NRE. Again, even less of a chance now that you will build ANYTHING even remotely substantial, but its fun right? I don't see anyone getting hurt, I really LIKE this person!

Now you're dating, maybe you've even had monkey sex a few times, but you still don't know each other. You both have your secrets, and now you are at the point that you will fight to keep them. You begin planning the future, and even planning how you will hide these things that you have managed to thus far keep hidden.

What if she finds out about the sodomized my little pony sculpture I have hidden in storage? What if he wants to meet my family and realizes that I was fabricated entirely out of self-replicating silicate nanites, but I just want to be human?

Its too late. Any semblance of a real relationship is shattered, because at some point, you have to rewind to get to the truth. You will never be able to have a meaningful relationship with this person, no matter how much you care for them because you won't be able to be honest with them. You'll be starting over the moment you start being truly honest.

Obviously I know everyone does not do this, but a lot of people think that they do not do this, and it is practically their M.O.

To put something personal on this:

I don't have a lot of close friends. If I have someone really close to me, it means that I let them in, and they didn't fuck with my trust. The other reason I don't have many friends is because when I meet people, they get a very intense version of me that I don't have any way to filter. Its not necessarily dramatic, but it is me, down to my worst habits if that comes up.

The reason I do this is because of the above. I don't want fake friendships, or fake relationships, and I don't want anyone to end up not being my friend because they just 'found out' that I suck my thumb, or that my family is crazy, or that I am poly, or that I don't want kids. These things are bound to come up in our FIRST conversation. Yes, my hobbies and interests will come up too, but I won't be wearing them like a badge that says 'you know you want me lolz'

I want real relationships, friendships, lovers. I have a deep intimate connection to people I am close to, and I keep people close to me that I care about. And I want them to have that from me.

I know my rant seems silly, maybe even misplaced or some regurgitation of things that people already know but don't care about. I want everyone to have real, intimate, trusting relationships. I want people to KNOW each other, inside and out. Stop hiding, who you are is probably better anyway, and you'll never know if you don't give someone else a chance to actually know you anyway.
tl;dr


OKCupid gets me laid.
I really love CS:GO's 64 tick servers.

User avatar
Merk
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Posts: 8274
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 9:33 am
Location: Bloomington / Ft. Wayne
Contact:

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Merk » Mon Feb 20, 2012 9:40 pm

Hell yeah that's what it's there for bwo!
Image

belindashort
Light
Light
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 3:16 am

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by belindashort » Mon Feb 20, 2012 11:58 pm

Uh, who quotes an entire TL;DR post...Aren't there any rules here?

I don't believe in 'soulmates' because that would require me believing in something such as a soul.

User avatar
Merk
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Lady Banned Son of Switzerland
Posts: 8274
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 9:33 am
Location: Bloomington / Ft. Wayne
Contact:

Re: Internet dating *or* grasping for love at end of one's rope

Post by Merk » Tue Feb 21, 2012 12:17 am

I don't think the term is literal, Belinda.
Image

Post Reply